I don’t have goals.
I had goals, like reaching 135 pounds and when I reached that years ago, I kept going and hit almost 110 pounds. That did not go well and here I am at 135 again. It was a struggle to let go of a weight loss goal. A weight loss goal sets me up for depression.
In the back of my head, I want to lose 10 pounds. Oh yes, those 10 pounds every woman wants to lose. Actually 10 pounds or 125 pounds is where I was before I started working out 5-7 hours a day and not eating (600-1000 calories per day).
So I don’t have a weight loss goal.
I don’t have a body fat goal. I don’t have a strength goal. I don’t have a yoga goal. And I definitely don’t have some goal to run a half or full marathon. I don’t know what my body fat is. That would depress me too. I’ve had strength and yoga goals like increasing weights or getting into a pose. I even ran a 5K in 27 minutes then I realized I don’t like running.
Right now, I workout because it’s a habit. I workout because I want to move around and because I can abet slowly when I’m sick.
I don’t have eating goals. I don’t have goals for drinking water. I eat pretty well every day. I drink tons of water.
When I let go of the “goals,” I live freely and I live a life of balance. I can go out again. I can focus on work.
But there’s a problem with not having goals at all. I don’t know where I’m going.
Someone asked me where I see myself in 10 years and I hardly had an answer. The only thing I could say was I want to go back to a high school.
Yes, that’s it. How big is my want? How great is the fire?
- I’m not excited about going back to work next week. I have a lot to do, but even worse, I am not entirely thrilled about teaching my kids. I am usually excited to get back to my kids…
- Once a week I come home and go to sleep before 7 PM. It’s not just a nap – I sleep through the whole night!
- Over the last 3 months, I’ve gotten sick 3 times. I had a regular cold, tension headaches that lasted a whole week, and I’m at the end of a week and a half cold. Due to this month alone, my hormones were thrown off!
Do I want this for even another year? No.
So what must I do?
- I signed up to finish my remaining tests to be highly qualified in English. I can take one at a time, the first at the end of January.
- Take those last 2 classes to be get my Master’s in Special Ed [to get paid more] starting September 2015.
- Continue working hard and doing more at my current job.
- Apply and get a job at a high school that it’s in my old district or a comparable district. Pray that the staff is just as great.
And here’s a kicker: I jumped on board with my friend Denise to work in the finance/insurance business. It’s a good group of people and a little side job.
Hey, maybe this isn’t such a big deal since most people make their life decisions at 29.
Stay tuned for part 2, where I address non-career goals.